Fashion, Identity & Confidence - How Style Shapes Who We Become
Fashion is more than clothing. It’s a reflection of identity, confidence, and emotional presence. The psychology of what we wear influences how we feel, how we show up, and how we connect with the world around us.
Returning To My Roots
Going back to my root this year has meant reconnecting with something deeply personal — my relationship with fashion. Not fashion in the commercial sense, but fashion as identity, memory and inheritance. And at the centre of that story is my mother.
The First Pair of Heels
One of my earliest memories and surprisingly still vivid, was being handed my first pair of heels by my mother in the early 90s. It was just a simple dark brown rubber sandals with a bit of heels that made me feel grown up. I remember always feeling excited to wear those sandals on Sundays to church. Even now, decades later, that memory still feels very much alive— the excitement, the sense of importance, the quiet joy of stepping into something that felt grown-up and meaningful.
Elegance Beyond Wealth
We didn’t grow up with much. But what we lacked in material wealth, my mother replaced with dignity, intention, and vision. She used to say:
‘‘I want my children to walk into any room and dine with royalty without feeling out of place.’’
It was never about pretending or performing status. We never lived above our means. Most of our clothes were second-hand, carefully chosen because that was what we could afford. Yet my mother had an extraordinary eye for style. Except for Christmas and special occasions she would save up to buy us new ready made clothes and those moments felt sacred and special to us. She probably doesn’t know it, but she helped me see at such early age that style isn’t bought, it is curated.
The Power of Presence
What stayed with me the most wasn’t just the clothing, but her presence. My mother carried herself with humility, warmth, and quiet confidence. She treated people with respect regardless of status and somehow commanded the same respect in return.
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Watching her move through rooms with grace left an imprint on me. She effortlessly embodied a beautiful feminine energy, strength softened with kindness and confidence balanced by humility. Naturally, she tried to raise us with that same grace.
Fashion as Inheritance
Looking back, I realise my sense of style didn’t come from magazines or trends. It came from observing her. Fashion, in our home, was never about labels, it was about expression, modesty, dignity, and how you show up in the world. She taught me at an early age that the way one chooses to dress, influences the way the world sees and relates with you. In many ways for me, style became an inheritance— passed down not through money, but through mindset and presence.
The Psychology of What We Wear
As I’ve grown and become more aware of myself, I’ve also come to notice how clothing not just affect outward appearance but have a psychological effect on us too. There is a real connection between what we wear and how we show up. If you feel good in what you wear, you radiate confidence on the outside. Which is why it is very important to pay attention to how clothing makes you feel first, irrespective of external influences.
Fashion as Self-Communication
Fashion, when stripped of consumerism, becomes a tool of self-communication. It’s a quiet language that says:
‘‘This is who I am today.’’
And when we dress in alignment with how we feel or want to feel— not for approval, not for trends, but for ourselves. It becomes an act of self-respect.
Where Memory Meets Identity
To me, fashion goes far beyond price tags or prestige. It is memory, psychology, identity, and heritage stitched together.
It is the echo of a four-year-old girl in rubber heels, learning without knowing it, how to walk into the world with grace.
If you made it this far. Thank you for following this journey with me.
If you found this helpful or it resonates with you, I would love to know in comments below— what was your earliest fashion / style memory?